Cycle 5 has been good; things feel like they’re moving more swiftly after reaching the halfway point. It also really helps when I have things to distract me.

In comparison to the previous cycle; the nausea hasn’t been as bad; oh it’s still been there, just not as bad. It usually has a habit of rearing it’s ugly head as I arrive at the clinic for chemo; something about the smells, sights or the imminent needle makes me gag. But it’s been tolerable these past times.

The weekend before last, I travelled to Canberra with James to see my brother as well as Lupe Fiasco in concert. It really really good to be out of the house; look at me getting all excited about Canberra; either way, that as well as having Ash visit this last week has kept my brain from collapsing upon itself from boredom and monotony. It’s really nice when she’s in town; things are that much more bearable.

In other news, I’m growing hair. Beard hair.
But not that manly beard hair. You know the kind of hair you have as a teen until the first time you shave, it’s all soft and cushy. It’s growing. What’s funny is it’s longer than the hair on my head. Either way today it’s started falling out again, so it totally got my hopes up.

That’s really all, I wish I had more exciting things to report but I guess under these circumstances, no news is good news .

Hope you’re well.
K

Sorry it’s been a while since my last post. Just been trying to keep myself in a state of busy even if that means procrastination. I realised that this free time I have now is probably not going to be repeated until I’m a retired old man so I might as well make the most of it.

This cycle has been pretty crappy. Possibly the crappiest thus far, I don’t know why, but the nausea this time was worse during the first week of treatment and to make matters further complicated, I had to get a blood transfusion.
I came into treatment on Day 1 of Cycle 4 and was told that my red blood count was low and if it went any lower, they would probably have to give me a blood  transfusion. The reason for the low blood count was probably because of the chemo and its destructive nature. In an attempt to counter it, I was told to eat foods that would increase the cells i.e. brocolli, red meat, chick peas etc. I tried. Nothin’ doin.

So sure enough the next week, I got the news that I would have to have just under half a litre of blood infused over six….that’s right six, hours. I wouldn’t have gotten through it if I hadn’t taken my laptop and burnt through an entire season of Entourage. Speaking of which, I’m looking for a friend in a movie star/musician who’s willing to buy me an Aston Martin on a whim.

I’m hoping I don’t have to do it again; mainly because I’m out of Entourage seasons. Fingers crossed, but I guess they won’t rule something like that out.
It’s also made me come to the upsetting conclusion that I probably shouldn’t travel to Melbourne during treatment. I was really hoping to go visit Ash last week but then this came up and now because my immune system is the piddly thing that it is, I’d had to catch a cold off some guy on a plane and end up in hospital with an infection. So quite simply; no travel until May .

Cycle 4 though! Halfway. That’s got to be encouraging!

In other news, I’ve finally finished my website and got some fresh work up! If you’re bored at work check it out http://www.wakeupmrsingh.com

Peace!
Karan

A quick post.

Saw the oncologist today who had the results of my PET scan.

“There has been an excellent metabolic response to therapy….”

Overall, I’ve responded well to treatment and as a result the doctor stopped short of offically calling it a “negative” scan. He needs to consult the board of doctors who look after cases of Hodgkins lymphoma before saying any more. He has, however, reduced my chemo dosage from the ‘escalated’ version of treatment to the ‘baseline’ version which is great!

I think I’m probably still going to have to complete the full 8 cylcles rather than cutting it short but I gues that’s ok.

Hope you’re well
Karan

Hello all!

Guess it’s that time to update the blog with some progress as to how treatment is going. I’ve had a chance to reflect this past week especially because I had my PET scan last Friday; the last time I had a PET scan was right before I started my chemo and I was just comparing how I felt before and I after these two tests.

In terms of symptoms I had related to the cancer:
- Exhaustion – In Melbourne, it’d get to 11am and I’d be tired at work. I think at one point I was drinking one of those Mother energy drinks everyday.

- Insomnia – I was sleeping horribly because I would get night sweats and often have the fan on even if it was 10 degrees outside.

- Cough – This came and went, but was primarily how the cancer was caught because the lymph nodes were pressing down on my chest. I’d have little coughing fits after eating or drinking.

- Itchiness – This was the worst. It started a long time ago, but got worse and worse. I’d just be ridiculously itchy and even went to a dermatologist who prescribed me some funky cream which didn’t work.

I’m really happy to say that these four main symptoms have cleared up, and I think I noticed differences after the first cycle of chemo. I’m sleeping beautifully, and am back to my “stay-up-til-2am-for-no-reason-on-the-internet” ways. I’ve got all my energy back with certain restrictions, I’m trying not to over exert myself but I definitely feel a lot more alive. The cough has completely disappeared and as for the itchiness, I am so relieved to have it gone. I don’t know how I lived. I used to itch like that crack head Tyrone Biggums.

I guess it’s all well and good but I probably shouldn’t get ahead of myself. I’m still on cycle 3 of 8 and have quite a way to go. Next week, however, I’m seeing the oncologist who, based on the PET results will give me a progress report, let’s pray for good news. If all goes well, he plans to reduce my chemo dosage!

In other news, now I’m told my veins are tricky. I guess I’ve been stabbed so many times that it’d probably happen. I’m a little upset, mainly because this blog is called “You Have Nice Veins”; don’t they know how hard it is to come up with a witty name? Sacrilege I say.

In news not pertaining to my veins, I’ve been entertained over the last couple weeks with postcards and packages from you guys sending your love. I’m so overwhelmed with your support that I can’t really explain how much it helps. I’ve got a lot of spare time on my hands now, you’ve probably seen me loitering online on msn or facebook or depthcore a LOT, but this really makes my day. That and also the constant messages and emails which keep entertained and my mind focussed on the goal of visiting lots of you sometime this year wherever in the world you may be!

I’ve also been kept busy with some freelance projects which are just finishing up now. It’s great to be working again and I really enjoy the whole “make-your-own-hours” thing. Anyone who knows my sleeping habits knows that there’s enough said there. I’ve also submitted some work for a design competition going on here in Australia. Please vote for me if you have a spare moment, you don’t have to register!

That’s roughly it! Hope you’re all well and enjoying 2010 thus far.
Mad Love,
Karan

I haven’t updated in a while and thought this was over due!

Treatment is going as well as it can which is great! As Cycle 1 wrapped up I saw the oncologist looking after me for a check up. He seems to be pretty happy with how everything is going and in the second week of January I’m scheduled to to do another P.E.T. scan which is to check how the cancer is going and if it’s dead or not. Bascially to do this, they inject me with a radioactive dye which I think is combined with sugar. Any organs that soak up the sugar will glow under the scanner, so for example the brain. Last time I did the scan, my lymph nodes were glowing which is where the bulk of the cancer is located, indicating it was alive. This time we’re hoping that the first bouts of the chemo will have killed it and if that is that case, my chest won’t glow like the Northern Lights and they’ll adjust my dosage.

Most of the hair on my head has fallen out, though not all of it, so I kind of look like Gollum from Lord of the Rings, except I usually wear a hat, so I’m Ghetto Gollum.

Also, my eyebrows have thinned out heaps which is a little bit funnier because now I look surprised all the time.

Jokes aside, overall I’m feeling fine. During the first week of this cycle, my meds did make me a bit sick to the point where I was gagging to spew a lot. I’m all better now and at the point in treatment where I can catch up on all the Coke, cheese and coffee I’ve missed out on.

So it’s the new year and I’m looking forward to all this year has in store. I’ve decided that I really need a nice holiday when all of this is over so that’s definitely something to be looking forward to should all go to plan!

Aside from that, I hope you all had a good break and that 2010 brings you all that you hope for.
I’d really like to thank my family and friends for all the support and encouragement they’ve given me. Last year ended on a pretty shitty note to say the least and you all helped carry the weight so for that I thank you all so much.

Peace
Karan

Hair. Everywhere.

So as they predicted, by around the third week of treatment my hair would start to fall out. To ease the blow, on the weekend I went and got my head shaved. It’s ironic though, because every morning I wake up and my pillow looks like I was the victim of a sleeping walking barber who came and decided to shave still more hair off my head. It’s not just my head though; basically the chemo kills anything that is growing, so anywhere hair grows, it’s falling out. It was wierd to stroke my beard and have half of it end up in my hand. I should take up swimming, seeing as though I’m going to be as aerodynamic as Ian Thorpe and all.

Seriously though, I can’t say I’m not getting self-conscious with my hair falling out; I know it’s all part of the game but I guess it’s the whole notion of you shedding something that you’re normally used to having or have taken for granted as a part of you that hits hard. I was sitting in the waiting room of the place I get treatment a couple of weeks back and read a pamphlet about wigs for cancer patients. I didn’t take the concept of it too seriously at the time but now that it’s actually happening I can’t blame people. I’ve already seen a bunch of women with them, and I think the reason I didn’t take it too seriously at the start was because it was obvious they were wearing them, but then that’s probably it; maybe it just serves more as a security blanket or something to boost their confidence.

Meanwhile, my pregnant man syndrome continues. I figure I should make the most of it though because I’ve found out that no matter how much I drown myself in food, I don’t put on any weight. I’m still rocking out at 56kg. As one of my mates said the other night, “I know girls who WISH they were 56kg!”. For the record I used to weigh 70kg. Cancer is hungry.

Treatment-wise, I’m in the third and final week of the first cycle which means I’ve finished all the meds for this cycle and this week is dedicated to building my red and white blood cells that the chemo killed. It’s nice not to be downing 5 million pills in the morning

To keep busy I’ve decided to redo my website and work on some new peices for the art group I belong to but have neglected; depthCORE. I’ve also managed to score some freelance work which is good as it’ll be good to earn a bit of money and keep me on my toes in terms of design.

Hope you’re all well,
K

Things have been going alright so far, touch wood. I’ve finished up all my drip sessions for this cycle which is nice; I can’t say I’m the biggest fan of kicking back in an armchair getting chemo IV’d into my veins but whatever, it needs to be done.

The weekend was a bit of a bummer because Ash had to head back to Melbourne, so I saw her off on Saturday. I guess the good thing is it’s only a short trip home and she could be a whole lot further away so there’s no point in beating myself up about the distance that’s now come between us, plus she’ll be back in no time so all is good. I’m really grateful to her work for being so understanding and letting her work remotely while all this is going on (Thanks Reactive).

Meanwhile, the cravings the doctors talked about before I started treatment have kicked in like crazy. I’m craving foods like a pregnant lady who’s been starved for weeks, to the point where it’s becoming scary, escpecially because I’m not at a point in my treatment where I can start putting back on the 15kg I lost as result of the cancer. So bascially you should be picturing a scrawny kid devouring, nay demolishing all food in sight.

I’ve always enjoyed food but never been overly passionate about it, that’s always been my brother. Right now I’m craving things I can’t get which is a kind of annoying, like a chicken teriyaki don from the local Japanese place around the corner from my old work….in Melbourne. Ugh. That being said, I’ve also developed new fears that after all this I’ll become a bloater, and I’m sure we’d all get a good laugh out of that. The weird thing about all this is, some foods also become less appealing, which they warned about too. For example, I used to love grapes, now I can barely eat more than a handful without getting bored.

To add to matters I’ve been told that after any meals I’m supposed to wash my mouth out with a baking soda/water mix to stop from developing ulcers in my mouth. This is no fun because baking soda and water tastes like arse.

All this writing has made me hungry.
Hope you’re all well fed.

Love,
K

Firstly, I don’t even know where or how to start to thank everyone for their support and encouragement; it means the world to me, I can’t thank you enough, from changing your profile pics to the facebook messages and lengthy text messages and even flowers. Without getting too soppy, you guys are the best.

I thought it’d be a good idea to explain what ‘Cycle 1 – Day 4′ means as that’s how I’m going to be dating these posts for the course. Basically the doctor has outlined that my chemo is to last for 6 months which will be broken up into 8 cycles. Each cycle lasts 3 weeks, I’m on meds for 2 of the 3 weeks in a cycle, the last week is a week off to say ‘hey we’re done killing everything, now lets have stuff grow back for a bit so we can do it alllll over again’.

So that’s a cycle. Here’s where it gets confusing; on days 1-3 and day 8 I actually have to physically go into the hospital for a chemo drip (Some chemo is oral most is IV). The doctors warned me before I started the treatment that it is pretty hardcore in comparison to normal chemo treatments because of the cocktail of drugs they’re throwing at it and the fact that they’re trying to kill the cancer in one go. As a result I’d be feeling pretty crap as a result of all of it.

For days 1 and and 2 of treatment I handled it ok, I mean I was still beat by the time I got home, but yesterday killed me. The treatment was only for 30 mins but I was a goner by the time I got home. It’s carried on until today and I’ve spent most of today in bed, bar forcing myself to go to the shops with mum. To give you an idea, it’s more a feeling of nausea and tiredness, and what’s worse is I have little to no motivation to doing anything else. Things should however, get better as my body gets used to it. Fingers crossed as boredom is seeping in every so distinctly.

Hope you’re all well and this wasn’t too much of a downer to read. Otherwise I’m in good spirits and am ticking off the days until this crap is over.

Hope you’re all well
Karan

I guess first I should explain what this blog’s about. A month ago I came up to Sydney to visit my folks for the weekend. That Friday night, this persistent cough I had been having (for three months on and off) flared up to the point that my parents couldn’t sleep, because I was coughing all night. First thing that morning Dad pulled me out of bed and took me for my second GP visit that week. Except this time he ordered an x-ray on my chest as well as a CT scan. I did this xray and I did this scan, forgot about it for a couple of hours, til I got a call from my GP. He told me to drop everything and go to hospital because my lymph nodes were enlarged, which indicated a tumor or possible cancer.

I ended up spending sixteen days in hospital in Sydney and a week after, recieved the final diagnosis of Hodgkins lymphoma, a type of cancer which apparently Delta Goodrem had (as everyone keeps telling me). Based on the diagnosis, it’s a curable type of cancer, and thats what they intend for the treatment to do.

Fast track to today, I’m still in Sydney, left my place in Melbourne and resigned from Qube. Exactly a month after I first had the scans and today was my first session of chemotherapy. I mumbled ‘bombs away’ as the first drips of the drugs went in, as thats the whole point right? Theres world war three going on inside my body right now. This is sparta. I hope to keep this blog, as I go through six months of chemo and try and keep you guys posted as to whats going on. I’m sorry that you’re finding out like this, I didn’t really want to scream it from mountain tops or beg for people’s pity. I hope none of you are upset that you are finding out this way, its just really hard to tell a lot of people something like this. I’ve decided to call it ‘you have nice veins’ because everytime a nurse takes my blood, they compliment me on my veins… they are pretty nice. Ash is still with me and as strong as ever, as are my family.

Hope you’re all well.

Mad love,

Karan.